“One of my friends who is a part of We Can took me to this meeting about domestic violence. I was concerned and wanted to do something about this issue…

I learned a lot from the comics workshops organised by the We Can campaign. This method helps us to reach people in different parts of Sri Lanka with different issues, in a way that they can understand. In most of the remote areas of Sri Lanka, people cannot read and write …this is why comics as a medium are so useful.

I have printed 60,000 copies of comic poster. Every month we print one poster and we include them in newspapers as inserts …

Mohamed Rushdie (blue hat/young/running workshop) BGT 0078

I have seen so much unfairness and violence in my life – early marriage, divorce, dowry violence –I don’t want any more women to face these problems so I am now a part of this campaign to stop early marriages in our community.

Beauty Ara

“In our society, teachers are highly respected …and I take advantage of this status to encourage parents to send their girls to school because we do have a tradition of early marriage in our community, and I want to reverse this trend in my area.

I think that this is working because it is delaying the age at which parents marrying their daughters off. The We Can Change Maker tool kit and bag is like a flag for me. It brings recognition for me so that when I go to communities, they recognise me and that I am associated with the campaign.

Md Nowsher Ali (check shirt/hat/glasses/longer beard) teacher BGT 1296

I have joined the campaign for the sake of other girls who are victims like me. None of this is their fault. I can help them fight for justice. I want to show them the way so that they can speak out and demand their rights.

Bina Sreshtha, Nepal

Through the We Can campaign, I have learned new ideas that will be helpful for talking to people on ending violence against women. I feel that I will be able to take the messages back to every home. I tell people that whenever violence takes place, they must begin to stop it themselves.

Poonam Toppo, Change Maker from Jharkhand, India

“We at the Gana Unnayan Kendra in Gaibandha feel that even as we take the campaign forward there are lessons to be learnt everyday. Initially, we were unsure about how to approach the issue of domestic violence but our people’s wholehearted involvement has encouraged us to learn to handle the crisis and enable women to find solutions for themselves.”

Anjum Nahid Chowdhury, Programme Manager, Gana Unnayan Kendra, Gaibandha

“I would like to say that our posters, billboards, panels, wall paintings, murals, leaflets, posters, booklets and kits have been extremely effective in making the issue of domestic violence public and provoking debate.. Many people have now begun to see domestic violence as a ‘governance’ issue in need of policies and laws. Many others also see it as an issue for which solutions will have to emerge from a change in societal values and people’s behaviour. I see these attitudinal changes as the first step. Change may happen slowly. But it will happen surely.”

Jaya, Gana Unnayan Kendra, Gaibandha

“Men and women from all walks of life in Gaibandha are uniting under the banner of the campaign to fight the root causes of gender discrimination and violence. In a short span of time, we have managed to garner support from the local government, law enforcement agencies, health and educational institutions, civil society and the media.”

Salam Bhai, Gana Unnayan Kendra, Gaibandha

“As a person who is deeply concerned with the development challenges of this region, I wish to say that the issues raised by this campaign should be seen within the framework of human rights. The right of a woman to lead a violence-free life should be viewed as a non-negotiable right. Strategies to counter it must be immediately explored.”

Mahabubur Rahaman Tulu, Chairman, Shahpara Union, Gaibandha

“Women have learnt to live under the shadow of violence for so long that an organisation needs be equipped with extreme sensitivity and responsibility to be able to handle it. We at Polli Sree, while taking the campaign forward, have also introduced gender-friendly measures within the office. We extend both maternity and paternity leave; the physical workload of expectant mothers and mothers who have recently delivered babies is reduced; we have crèche facilities within the office so that women can continue working even after having children; and the staff members are prohibited from either giving or taking dowry.”

Shamim Ara, Director, Polli Sree, Dinajpur

“The way in which the community and institutions respond to violence is largely shaped by the way they view and understand violence. The challenge we face is to bring about a change in their perception of violence. Institutions like the police, panchayat, health and educational institutions are crucial points of intervention; they can send a strong message to the community that violent behaviour is not acceptable.”

Shabnam, Polli Sree, Dinajpur

“We have taken an oath to be Change Makers in the ‘We Can’ campaign hoping to bring change and end violence against women. We are witnesses to domestic violence in our own homes but are not sure how much we can influence people or help them. We are, however, willing to try. As a first step we have helped arrange a marriage in the community without dowry. But we need guidance, recognition and help from the members of the Union Parishad.”

   

Najim ul Haq, Sultan Mahmood and Mohammad Arshid Azim Khan, Ramdubi High School, Ramdubi village, Dinajpur

People from different walks of life who are culturally active members at the Noborupi Cultural Club in Munshipada in Dinajpur have also shown a keen interest to take forward the issues of the campaign. Here is what they have to say:

“I think that children should be sensitised to this issue of domestic violence. If there is awareness at this tender stage then it will be easier to alter attitudes. ”

Kamrun Naha, school teacher at the local school, Dinajpur

“It is important for women to have an independent source of income. It will give them a sense of identity and help them stand up for their rights both at home and in society.”

Shyampardim Rumi, lecturer, Government’s Women College, Dinajpur

“My vast experience at the courts tells me that laws alone will not help solve the crisis of domestic violence. Laws at best offer women a short term reprieve. I have seen women run around in circles in courts seeking justice and compensation. The system is not geared to address their problems or needs. Long term solutions can only happen if attitudes change.”

Mohammad Mehrul Islam, lawyer, Dinajpur

“It is important for the civil society to take the case of women forward as they are urgently seeking justice. I was happy to see the objectives of my institute and that of the campaign correlate.”

Samsun Nahar, Director, Urban Sanstha, Dinajpur

“Women should be made to realise that they are not alone in their victimisation. They must be given all the support they need. The problem of domestic violence should be linked up to other aspects of a woman’s life like health, education and employment.”

Sufia Nahar Manju, Director, Vibash, Dinajpur

“A change in attitudes towards women is perhaps the most difficult thing to achieve. I tried a simple exercise at home. I began addressing our maid with respect and insisted on the family eating a meal together. Members in my family, however, took this to be a charade of some sort and did not expect me to follow it through. Change unsettles people so they resist it. But change is inevitable. The day will soon come when women will live in safe and violence free homes.”

Azad Hai, Chairperson, Bangladesh Mahila Parishad and Shah Jahan Shah, Secretary, Noborupi Cultural Club, Dinajpur

A young woman of my village was brutally assaulted by her in-laws and sent back home. In our village, we resolved the issue with the help of a human rights’ activist. Why do we allow this to happen? This woman got some justice but many others die daily – bit by bit.”
Abdul Quddus, businessman of Boali village, Dinajpur

“I am fortunate to have a happy family life. However, most families in my village are ruined because of domestic violence. Recently I had to intervene in a nasty family squabble in my neighbour’s house. I had to sit with the husband, wife and the mother-in-law separately and get them to see reason. As a Change Maker in the campaign, my involvement so far has shown me that it is easier to talk to younger people rather than the older members who resist everything I say.”
Faroque Ahmed, who works for a courier agency in Jummapara village, Dinajpur

“My father abused my mother every day. One day, he left us for good. My siblings and I had no other option but to come to Dhaka and find ways to survive. We worked at a garment factory. The salary we earned totaled 4,000 Taka. It was not much but we managed. But the garment factory has shut down. I now work as a housemaid. No one will marry me if they find out.”
Hashi, a garment worker, Dhaka

“My father abuses my mother physically and verbally. My work with Banchte Chai has empowered me to stand up against my father. My greatest reward is that my mother Mahmuda Kahnam believes that she is the biggest beneficiary of my work.”
Gul of Banchte Chai, Bangladesh

“In the past 50 years, I have been fed first and the best food at home. It is time for women of the household, especially my daughter-in-laws, to enjoy this privilege.”
Abdul Kaium Sarkar, Advocacy Coordinator, Empowerment through Resource Mobilisation Project of Banchte Chai, Bangladesh

When I get priority over my sister, I think that’s violence. When I get better food than her, or when I get to do things that she doesn’t I consider that violence too. But before I learnt of this from the ‘We Can’ campaign, I didn’t recognise that.
18-year old boy in college discussion group, Barisal

Being part of this group against domestic violence doesn’t give us credit or loans. The fact is credit doesn’t help us become more aware. To keep money we need to be knowledgeable. ‘We Can’ helps us with that.
Women’s group, Barisal

Domestic violence is not a private issue; it’s a social issue. When my neighbour beats his wife, my husband gets an excuse to beat me. So I do have the right to intervene in other people’s behaviour.
Women’s group, Barisal

Sometimes when we show the ‘We Can’ posters and leaflets to men and try to discuss domestic violence with them, they ask, ‘What country does this come from? What are those people’s motives?’ We reply, ‘Yes, the posters may come from outside, but the ideas don’t.’
Women’s group, Barisal

In the morning we have to deal with physical violence, in the evening economic violence and in the night sexual violence.
Women’s group, Barisal

Women alone can’t bring change. Men need to be involved as well.
Women’s group, Barisal

Being involved in the fight against domestic violence brings a lot of pressure on you -- from husbands, parents-in-law and sons. But if it helps in bringing peace in my community it is worth it.
Women’s group, Barisal

Yes, we talk to everyone we meet about domestic violence. But we are careful to tread gently and step by step; otherwise there will be lots of resistance in the community.
Students in college discussion group, Barisal

Domestic violence occurs in every strata of society. But people of the upper classes don’t shout about it. We do. This is why they point to us and say it only happens here.
Women’s group, Barisal

Yes, my husband provides for me but that doesn’t mean he can pressurise me to have sex. It’s not fair.
Women’s group, Barisal

My husband said to me: “Don’t go back to the group, you’re learning bad ideas there.” I said to him: “It’s not good for you or our family if I’m ignorant. That’s why I should go there and learn things.”
Women’s group, Barisal

Family is the foundation for all development; the process of change should begin from here.
Boys from youth club, Barisal

If we’re going to achieve change we need the cooperation of everyone in the community: women and men, young and old, the perpetrators… But we have to start the process with ourselves.
Boys from youth club, Barisal

Sometimes people say, ‘There are laws against domestic violence – why are you in the field?’ But work against domestic violence is not like a medicine that you can inject once to make everything well. You have to keep working and come back again and again to talk to people.
Neela, Director of SDS

Of course the girls will still be harassed on their way to school. But now at least they will protest. Being part of the discussion group has helped them to assert themselves.
Teacher in Pabna

The curriculum mandates that we teach students about chromosomes and things like that. So we don’t have to justify our telling them about gender issues.
Principal at a school in Pabna

My neighbour was married when she was 14, and she was very unhappy. I went and asked her parents why they had done it. They blamed it on our culture. But I asked whose fault it is that their daughter is unhappy now. They had to agree that they only have themselves to blame.
Schoolgirl in Pabna

We tell people that instead of paying dowry for their daughters they should spend money educating her.
Youth club member, Pabna