In the words of Shamim Ara, director of Polli Sree (Rural Beauty)

‘In the beginning when we went to the villages to talk about dowry, the villagers wouldn’t let us inside their houses. We had to stand outside and talk to people through the windows. But their views have changed in a span of a few years. Today, they let us come inside.

Dowry – the practice by which a bride brings money or property to her husband at marriage – is widespread in Bangladesh despite being illegal. It is a serious cause of domestic violence and is deeply engrained in many communities.

The members of Polli Sree began their efforts by arranging a marriage between the son of a group member and the daughter of a member of another group. No dowry was exchanged. The marriage proceeded wonderfully and people in the community began to be convinced that marriages without dowry are possible.

Polli Sree began this initiative in 1993. In 1997, there were three marriages without dowry, in 1998 there were five and in 2004 there were 13 marriages of this kind. Between 1997 and 2005, there have been 104 such marriages; an outstanding achievement.

Polli Sree has spent the last few years forming groups of 15-20 members comprising both men and women from different communities at the district level. It started work on raising women’s awareness but soon realised that if men are not involved, women will not be able to use their new-found awareness. Today, it has 550 groups and 11,000 members.

The organisation also works to encourage marriage registration and runs a symbolic ‘Couple Meal’ campaign to promote gender equity. Started in 1996, the idea is that a husband and wife should have at least one meal together every day. Normally in Bangladesh, women eat last after everyone else has finished. This practice completely isolates a woman from family matters and the decisions made in the home.

Polli Sree has been active in telling people that it’s good for women and men to share a meal. It means that women can be part of the family and its decision-making. It also means there is better communication within families, and not least that women’s nutrition is improved.

The organisation also conducts orientation for newly wed couples. The target is to reach 50 couples every year. Couples are shy to come forward but overcome their reservations in the relaxed, tension-free atmosphere of the camps. They are encouraged to contact the staff for counselling with any problems they might have, especially those relating to reproductive health and family planning.

Channels of communication with college students have also been opened up as this segment will be soon be transformed into future heads of families. Many of the students are now Change Makers and are an active in the ‘We Can’ campaign.

We do face a lot of resistance. But we are determined to carry on as we know that change will eventually happen. It may be slow and sometimes small, but it is still change.’

Polli Sree has been part of the ‘We Can’ campaign for a year. Our primary achievement has been to successfully raise public awareness on the issue of domestic violence within the communities we work with. People have come to view domestic violence not as just a problem between two individuals but as a social problem that affects everyone in society. It is a great step forward. Women have also begun to verbalise their experiences and view violence against them as a violation of their rights and an offence. They are beginning to understand that psychological and verbal violence is as much violence as physical violence is. They are similarly starting to see restrictions on their lives and mobility to be violence. Earlier, women would seek redress only when the situation turned critical and divorce could be the only answer. But now they seek help in the early stages making it easier to resolve the problem. Another radical transformation is that middle class women are now coming forward to seek help; earlier they would refuse to acknowledge the existence of domestic violence within their homes.

It is also heartening to see a whole range of people coming to the aid of women. Neighbours of women victims of domestic violence, who would earlier withdraw saying it is a ‘private’ matter, now come forward to help. Youth clubs have taken up the issue and so have a variety of other civil society organisations. The government is far more responsive today and so are the police. They do register cases now and their approach is far more gender-sensitive. Doctors and nurses are also extending help and attempts are also being made to provide shelters to women survivors – though much more needs to be done in this area.

Polli Sree is a community-based organisation in Dinajpur district in north Bangladesh. It is an ally of the ‘We Can’ campaign. The organisation has a staff of 192 persons working in 11 offices.