Mohammad Naushir Alam, a 42-year-old social entrepreneur in Gaibandha, admits to having been impatient and arrogant at home in his previous avtar. “My attitude has changed dramatically ever since I have become associated with the campaign. I am no longer impatient with my wife. I do not demand everything at home as a right. Instead, I help myself to water and food if my wife is not at home; I have never ever done this before and all I did was scold her for not serving me on time or in a way that I wanted it to be. Earlier, it also never occurred to me to help out with household chores. Now I do. I drop my children to school and try to help out with little things at home so that it eases of my wife’s burden.

I am taking my role in the ‘We Can’ campaign fairly seriously. Since I am convinced that domestic violence exists in most homes, I speak to my neighbours about it. I use the Change Maker booklets to illustrate the gravity of the situation; the kinds of violence women face and the impact it has on children. I also take the trouble to paste campaign posters at strategic points in my village. I gather people around to discuss this issue so that inhibitions around the issue melt away.

I convinced my neighbour, a rickshaw puller, to stop beating his wife. He used to beat her everyday though she took care of his home, children, cooked and cleaned, fetched groceries from the market, looked after their livestock, and gathered fuelwood. I spoke to him at length and explained the seriousness of the situation. He fortunately understood.

In another instance, the community backed my efforts to get a husband to stop abusing his pregnant wife. He used to deny her food and torture her in unimaginable ways. Poverty and rudimentary health care anyway combine with traditions of early pregnancy to make a woman vulnerable in our village. After the baby was born, his behaviour worsened. He would neither give her any privacy or respect. The people of my village united and we together put an end to his behaviour. We also forced him to register part of his land in his wife’s name as a safety net for her. Some people do frown at my efforts to ensure safe homes. But since my family is well respected in the village, people do not get too hostile and I am allowed to do my work.”