At 20, Gangaben Kesha Gothi has come a long way from being a young bride with an education only till class three. She is now a person who can take decisions on her life and handle crisis situations adeptly. Her story reads like this. She was married in the Satha Paditi tradition where a brother and sister of one family are married to a brother and sister of another family. Her 40-year-old husband Dhanjibhai brought her to his home in Salari Gam, Rapar, soon after she attained puberty and when she was pronounced “fit to live with him.” It was the beginning of her miseries. He would often subject her to brutal torture and severe beating. Gangaben’s only road to salvation lay in returning to her home, which was 10 kms away.

She returned home two times, begging her family not to send her back. But both times she was sent back with a reprimand and told to consider her husband’s home as her only home. She left her husband’s home a third time unable to bear the torture anymore. But this time she went to her friend’s home. Her friend got in touch with an NGO called Ahmedabad Women’s Action Group (AWAG) that offered her shelter at night. Her parents came for her the next morning and pressured her to return to her husband’s home. The Satha tradition, they argued, meant that she could not break her marriage under any circumstance. They also said that they were not ready to take a stand on her behalf at the jati panchayat (caste panchayat).

At this point Gangaben’s brother, Hirji Bhai Gothi who was married to Gangaben’s husbands’ sister, came to her rescue. He persuaded Gangaben to stay on at the AWAG shelter in Ahmedabad. He then convinced his parents to break conventions and stand by Gangaben in her hour of trial. Hirji Bhai Gothi also approached the jati panchayat and urged them to give his sister Rs 10,000 for expenses after separation. Her brother’s steadfast support gave Gangaben the courage to separate from her husband and return to her parent’s home. It was a bold departure from the community’s customs. At present, efforts are being made through a lawyer to ensure a separation from her husband.

Gangaben agrees that taking control of her own life has brought about a remarkable change in her attitudes and ability to deal with crisis. Now, she says, she has gained courage to say ‘no’ to a life of servitude and violence.