Elias Mridha works as a radio and television mechanic in Bagerhaat. His wife sews, and together they rear hens and geese in their backyard. Both their boys go to school and come back to a happy and peaceful family. Seeing them now no one would ever imagine that this family had gone through a violent phase in the past.

Elias Mridha was invited to attend one of the male group meetings facilitated by Rupantar, a campaign ally, in Bagerhaat about violence against women. Oblivious of his role in perpetuating violence in his home he did not expect his family’s life to change so soon. After seven years of marriage to his 22-year-old wife, his moment of epiphany was here, “During the meeting I realised that I had a problem. I thought that I was powerful and I can beat my wife because she is weak. I assumed that beating my wife was natural.”

After understanding the definition of violence, Eliasbhai confessed to the group that he had been violent to his wife since early days of marriage. “I realised how I had unthinkingly adopted a culture of violence. My father used to beat my mother regularly and I had inherited his attitude towards women. Now I realise my wife is a human being and that we are equal. We now make all our decisions and take care of our family together. I have also begun to respect my wife and her attitude also has changed.”

Elias has begun the process of change in at least 50 families in his community. The subject of violence against women has become a standard topic of conversation at tea stalls or casual gatherings at the market place. “Peaceful lives always help families’ combat poverty” says Eliasbhai. He proved this point to his cousin who has two young wives, both of whom led miserable lives and lived in the shadow of violence and fear. He suggested to his cousin that he invest in two sewing machines and some poultry so that his family could have a steady income. His cousin agreed. Consequently violence has reduced in this family partly because there is a steady source of income and partly because of Eliasbhai’s consistence in talking to his cousin about violence against women. Besides raising awareness within his extended family, Eliasbhai has helped many women get legal help to fight for their rights.